Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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