sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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