Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize