my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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