just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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