By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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