I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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