She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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