I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
