Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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