I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
