remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
