STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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