Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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