More tranny stories later!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
