Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
