You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
