Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize