That's intense
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
