I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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