Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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