I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
