we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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