My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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