I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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