People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
