Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
