last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you didnt know i had herpes?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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