You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
