I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize