i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i've created a new STD.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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