Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
