So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize