When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My pussy is not your playground.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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