Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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