Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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