remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i came on her dog
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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