yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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