Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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