I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize