You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
