Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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