due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
