Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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