Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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