I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
