woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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