i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
