just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize