no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
