Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting

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(847): View more from Illinois

I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards

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