Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry >(^_^)< hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I feel like death. Did you die last night?

(305): View more from Florida

Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!

(859): View more from Kentucky

unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I will never swim in a flooded basement again..

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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(812): View more from Indiana

This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights

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(253): View more from Washington

i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down

(253): View more from Washington

ppsyche im wasted where are you

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(518): View more from New York

Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?

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(904): View more from Florida

I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.

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