I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
