come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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