I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
