They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
