Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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