***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
