Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
