I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize