She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
