she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize