If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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