you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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