So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
