he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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