All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
