That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
