Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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