U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
