Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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