OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
