Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize